I have been blog-blocked as of late, so I thought I'd write an entry I've been meaning to do for two years now, about my experience seeing Rigoletto at the Royal Opera House in London.
The following are excerpts from the travel journal I kept while I was there.
July 21, 2007
I am camping outside the Royal Opera House for tickets. I got here at 9:30 a.m. and there were already a number of people in line in front of me. I hope there are enough tickets for all of us. I really want this experience.
I am quite willing to elbow this old dude for my tickets. One week in the big city has made me hard and callous, and not just my feet!
You'd think we were camped out for a rock concert or at least a rock opera but no, it's Rigoletto in London, baby, which is so much cooler than anything I've seen before. I can hardly contain myself. Some people are all about the clubs and museums, but for me, this is where it's at.
Do you think I could take those cute Brazilian girls? I am bigger than them and the dude with them looks kind of like a wuss.
They've now started pumping opera music at us from the speakers outside the opera house. What teases.
When I went yesterday to try and buy tickets, there were only £137 tix left and in order to get them, you had to purchase the entire box, which was £600, or more than $1,500 CAD. Yeah, I think I'll wait in line for the rush £26 tickets, thanks very much.
***
I got the ticket. I think I'm going to cry. No, I know I will. Also, there are going to be 2,500 people there. Look:
There was full-frontal nudity in the first chorus number. It's all about sex, in Italian, with singing. My dream opera!
The soprano is incredible. There are parts where the orchestra drops out and she goes on a capella for quite awhile and when the accompaniment comes back, she is perfectly in tune. There is nothing quite like the sound of silence from 2,500 people as they hang on to every note. At the end, my chest was tight.A quickie synopsis for those of you unfamiliar with the opera:
Rigoletto is this hunchback jester who humiliates people at court to amuse the Duke. The Duke is a total man whore. A Count comes by the court all mad at the Duke for doing the horizontal Mambo Italiano with his daughter. Rigoletto is all, "Take that sucker, dude f@$*ed your daughter!" so the Count puts a curse on him. This can't end well. Curses suck.
The dudes at court decide to get Rigoletto back for being an arrogant bully all the time, so they spy on him and see that he's secretly living with a beautiful young woman, whom they think is his mistress.
They decide to kidnap her and deliver her to the Duke's bedroom so he can have his way with her and humiliate Rigoletto. Because rape is totally humiliating to men, and women are just pawns in big elaborate plots, don't ya know.
However, it turns out the Duke and the young woman (Gilda) have been checking each other out in church every week, so she's quite happy to jump his bones. Rape averted. How fortunate. Turns out it's not Rigoletto's mistress, but actually his virgin daughter, Gilda, whom he has been sheltering from the world.
Rigoletto is pissed, because women's virginity is all valuable and owned by men, so he hires a hit man to kill the Duke. He knows that the Duke, being a man whore and all, won't be able to resist the hit man's prostitute sister, so he brings Gilda over to the tavern to spy on the Duke and see for herself that he is a slut. The Duke even sings the same love song and makes the same proclamations of love on the prostitute as he did on Gilda. Brutal.
Gilda is devastated and cuts off all her hair. Rigoletto dresses her as a man so she'll be safe going home alone, but she overhears the hit man's hooker sister begging him not to kill the Duke, because she's a sucker and loves him. So, they make a plan that instead of offing the Duke, they'll stab the next person to walk in the door, and substitute that body so Rigoletto won't know the difference.
Gilda still loves the Duke because she's a stupid, weak female stereotype, so she knocks on the door and gets stabbed, sacrificing herself to save him.
Chickie, let me give you some advice: when a dude lies to you and sticks his penis into some whore, what you need to do is kick his lying, cheating ass to the curb, make out with his friend, find a new boyfriend who doesn't totally suck, and never look back. Not that I have any experience with this or anything. But seriously, it works. Make a note for next time. Oh, wait, you can't, because you're dead. Idiot.
Rigoletto picks up the body wrapped up in a rug and thinks that he's finally gotten his revenge. As he is about to dump the body in the water, he takes a closer look and finds out - gasp - it's his daughter! She dies in his arms and he's all, "Nooooooooo! It's the curse!!"
The End. Seriously.I was like, WTF? This is one of the most depressing and devastating plot lines ever. And then I remembered that opera is supposed to be depressing and devastating, so then I was happy.
Best. Experience. Ever.
